A Dad’s heart can be a multiplicity of concerns, purposes and responsibilities. These multiplicities can and should be managed or they can get in each other’s way. Wow, that’s abstract. Let me explain further, everything a dad does will either detract or add to the progress in any and or all of his goals. Care must be taken that only purpose adding actions are taken in every area of the complex maze that a dad gets to live in. If not, then energy and emotions that belong to one purpose could be wasted or spent on another. What we are going to talk about here is some tips about doing little things to endear and encourage your kids.
The necessity of Encouragement: Children will encounter enough disappointment, discouragement and set back, to keep them humble. What they need is a loving dad to encourage them, delivering the endearing knowledge that somebody believes in them and their abilities. Dad, this is your Job, and one that can yield rewards long after your departure into the hereafter.
When God, trusts you with the eternal life of a new child, he placed a great opportunity before you. First, he provided an opportunity to live for something other than you and grow thereby in your manhood, spirit and self control. Living for yourself will eventually leave you in the suicidal and depressing land of “So What”. Men need to live for something bigger then themselves, if not then your motivation will drop and your spirit will start to die a slow death.
Second, God will view the great deeds done by your children as your work in part. This is because you and your wife are the ones who gave the children the principles, discipline and self control they needed to do great and notable things. This is a big topic and I could write a book, but for now let’s move on.
The Power of the hug; this is a powerful tool and one used regularly by those who understand “emotional Intelligence”. When you hug a child you give them the idea that everything is going to be alright. When you hug a child you build a sense of security and faith that they need now and will linger on into their adult life. Think about it, what if you had grown up with the belief that you could achieve anything you set your heart on. What would you do if you knew that you could not fail? The hug can help instill confidence they will need to overcome great obstacles, and in the overcoming of the same they will build a great character needed to go on to do great things.
If your child loves animals you like them too. If your little girl loves small animals then you need to learn to enjoy small animals. My little girl brought a Chicken in the house the other day. I didn’t panic and or foam at the mouth. I don’t really want chickens in the house however; I don’t want to damage my little girls enthusiasm either. She will need that enthusiasm and love for things small and cute later in life. What I did when she came in all excited wanting me to see her chicken is this, I asked her to bring the chicken to me. While she held the chicken I stroked it kindly on the back of the neck. As I did so I could see my daughter nervousness about my reaction change to love and joy and confidence. We talked about how funny chickens and animals can be. After Five minutes or so I quietly added “alright, we better take her back outside”. My daughter smiled and said OK daddy. We grew a bit closer because of that incident. I tried to use animals as an activity that we enjoy together. Love the good and right things that they love even if you don’t really like them at all. Don’t let the prince of the air use your [don’t likes] against your family.
Take part in School activities: this is about the projects that your kids come home with. Keep up with what is going on in their lives and make them feel that when they need help they can come to you. Help them with their project without doing it for them. Use these events to get them talking. If they don’t feel free to talk to you and your spouse then where are they going to turn when the troubles of live start to stand in their way?
When they show Enthusiasm for a good and right thing, you show Enthusiasm: when the child comes home all happy and enthusiastic about something, let them play it out to you. Listen carefully with enthusiasm, let yourself enjoy their enthusiasm. Listen close enough to ask questions. Who else do you want them to share enthusiasm with If not you? People of all ages need someone to share the adventures of life, having a good and proper relationship in which you can share your enthusiasm on any subject is critical to an individual’s mental health. This is especially true with kids.
When you comin home dad? A good friend of mine tells a story, he would come home after working two jobs, sit on the couch and try to relax watching a few moments of television. His son would try to stay awake so that he could see his dad for a few moments.
His boy, said “Dad, look at this cool truck”. That’s nice son, and Dad would go back to watching television. The boy tried to get his attention several times but with no success. Then the lad took hold of Dads cheeks and said “Dad Play with me!” This message was received.
Suddenly a divine knowledge of the importance of the situation entered into his heart, his son had been looking forward to his daddies return all day and now dad’s home and they can see each other for about 30 minutes and dad wants to watch television instead.
Tears welled up in dad’s eyes and the television was put off. And he discovered
that he did have the energy after all to play with his son.
It is written:
“Pro 13:12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.”
Some parents don’t care if their children are disappointed over and over again, as if their hearts just don’t matter. There are times when it is bad for their character to give them what they want too often. Yet to do the opposite and never give them what they want can be just as bad. Parents need to find a balance, the balance can be found in the pursuit of the Almighty and a lifelong search for plain wisdom.
Communicate and or teach Principles: children who grow up with the confidence to conquer the world and never received a set of guiding principles to live by, will usually justify any malicious act against others to get what they want. Confidence must be governed and guided by a set of principles. You can instill principles by reading the Bible to the kids, going to church and living right in the sight of your children. Let us put it in other words, progress in this area will also be made when your kids see you making a sincere effort to live by the principles you want them to live by. What principles? You can probably come up with a list yourself; however, I will mention a few of the most important. First, the honoring and respecting of God, Parents and authorities, these are the ones who will help the youth when the time comes to make mega decisions.
This first principle also activates the promise of a long life. Second, the confidence building art of keeping your word all the time, coupled with the art of thinking about what you say before you say it. Third, the joy of telling the truth coupled with the masculine art of knowing what not to say. Not having sex until you are married. This is a controversial one, but most marriage breakups can be traced to the mistrust generated by having sex before marriage. I will answer questions about this if you will go my site (contact page) and leave a message, I will contact you by email. I want you to be well, joyful and live without reason for regret. Thank You, Robert Tafolla. “All Rights Reserved” © http://emotionalintelligencebooks.com
