Note to Self

Carmen D. Lade

What do the following have in common?

• A fond memory
• Wisdom
• A family tradition
• Fine wine
• A memorable song
• A close friendship
• A loving marriage
• A family
• Even an embellished story… the one that got away. I could on and on.

They all grow sweeter with time… and the longer I live, the more embedded this truth becomes, let me tell you.

With that being said… why is it sometimes difficult for me to trust that life will, indeed, continue to get even sweeter with time?

Maybe it’s because I’ve always been a control freak… a weakness, I’m learning to believe, which controls nothing more than the freak himself from ever escaping his so called controlled world, where he has confined himself to exist. Pretty dire situation… don’t you think?

OK… it’s a little dramatic, but not too far off base.

On the other hand… just beyond this self-imposed force field, there’s this “sweeter with time” reality, peacefully coexisting in an infinite world full of abundance, where wonderful present moments of life run free with no limits or boundaries.

No matter what I do or how hard I try, I know I will never be able to fully embrace the abundance God wants to give, if, at the same time, I’m trying to control what is passing through the moment at hand. It’s as futile as trying to harness a breath of fresh air… it just can’t happen.

So… note to self.

Over the years, God has given me more than I deserve. I’m starting to realize these blessings are not at all finite… but are as abundant and life giving as the breaths I take.

Therefore it stands to reason, that lasting joy doesn’t come from taking in a single breath of life and holding it in as long as possible. No… to experience the fullness of living, we are to breathe deeply in… and out… continuously.

Am I suggesting life’s transitions are always easy… HELL NO! I was kicking and screaming when I came into this wonderful world… and will probably be doing the same entering the next. I suppose it’s part of that control thing I was talking about… I’m working on it.

But I can honestly say this with authority… most new chapters in my life have yielded unbelievable blessings that I didn’t see coming (which, by the way, were realized only after settling down from all the kicking and screaming). And there’s absolutely no reason to think subsequent chapters will unfold any differently.

OK, I’ve settled down… I’m better now.


Self, (Bill)

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